


To See Your Fucked Up Life Become Mine

by saucegay



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mentally Ill Characters, Suicide Attempt, mlm author
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 22:09:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11723574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saucegay/pseuds/saucegay
Summary: Sasuke calls Naruto after a suicide attempt.





	To See Your Fucked Up Life Become Mine

The second hand ticked. 2 AM.

Experienced hands flicked and pressed buttons with intent focus, not hearing the clock. 

“C’mon, Shikamaru, is that all ya got?” Naruto called into the mic, His opponent grumbled in reply and went back to his game. His pressed down the combo that duplicated his avatar and had them all toss throwing knives at Shikamaru’s avatar. Two threw knives at him while the other tackled him to the ground from behind. Shikamaru’s avatar launched a basic blast attack to make the duplicate Naruto's vanish and he stood up, blade in hand heading straight for Naruto’s avatar. 

Bzzt, bzzt.

Incoming Call: Sasuke Uchiha.

“Hey, Shikamaru, I have to take this call,” 

“Bullshit, man you just know I’m going to kick your ass.”

“No, no, I’m serious, we can play again tomorrow.”

“Ugh, what a drag, I totally won though.” 

“Yeah, sure, whatever.”

Naruto disconnected from his game and quickly reached over to his phone. 

“Hey! Hey what’s up?”

A choked groan. 

He felt his heart skip a beat.

“Sasuke? What’s going on?”

“I. I-, Naruto, there’s so much blood, I can’t-

“Oh my god, oh my god, are you okay? I’m on my way, don’t move, don’t do any more, I’m on my way.” he said the last ‘On my way’ more as a reminder to himself than to the man on the phone. 

Dropping the phone on the ground, not even bothering to hang up, Naruto stood up and and shuffled around. He hurriedly slipped some sandals on, and stood in a panic. 

Sasuke. 

Blood. 

A lot of blood. 

Naruto Uzumaki wasn't dumb. He knew how his best friend was mentally ill, and that this blood was most likely from a suicide attempt. That didn’t change just how worried he was becoming though. He ran a shaking hand through his messy hair; what else did he need? Keys, jacket, phone, shoved into his pocket and he took off towards the door. 

Opening the car door so quickly it almost flew off his hinges, he sped off. His best friend, best friend since childhood could be dying any second. 

Naruto remembered that this wasn't the first time Sasuke had tried something like this.

Self harm was nothing new to the black haired boy, he had dealt with it all through high school, which of course upset Naruto deeply. 

He understood why he did it as Naruto had similar issues, though Naruto lashed out more instead of lashing in; resorting to destroying his own belongings in rage as opposed to destroying himself. 

A memory flashed through his mind. 

Of a thirteen year old Sasuke sitting on his desk chair, blade pressed into his wrist slicing down, teeth tightly clenched in a frown. His hair was in his eyes, masking his view of the door, but his super heightened reflexes activated as he heard Naruto push it open, hinges squealing. 

“Hey! Sasuke, do you want to- Oh. Oh, Sasuke, wh- why, what, you…” the blond sputtered on for a few more seconds before rushing over to his best friend. 

“Are you stupid? Why would you do something like that?”

The knife dropped, splattering blood on the bed. 

“Fuck you, you wouldn’t understand.” Sasuke tucked his bloody arm against his shirt, he didn’t realize it, but by applying that pressure he was making the bleeding stop. 

“Sasuke, you…” the blond boy was for once at a loss for words. 

After fighting back and forth over why Sasuke shouldn't’ve done it and why Naruto didn’t understand that he Had to, when Sasuke faltered and fell down on the bed Naruto realized that the reason why he had done it didn’t matter so much as saving his life. 

He rushed to his side. 

Ignoring Sasuke’s protests as he pried his arm away Naruto began wrapping it up in his blankets, shirts on the floor, any cloth he could find that would work as a substitute for bandages. 

“You have to go to the hospital.”

“No.” Sasuke growled. “I’ll be fine.”

“We at least need to tell your foster parents. Come on.” Naruto wrapped an arm around his waist and stood him up. 

“Hn.”

That memory ended with Sasuke’s foster parents taking him to the hospital. Naruto hadn’t heard from him for a week unti lhe came back after being hospitalized and medicated. Things were better after that, but of course: They were never perfect. 

Drive,

drive

drive.

Naruto’s mind hammered on.

Sasuke could be dead right now, was dying right now. He had to get there in time. 

He couldn’t. 

He couldn't imagine a world without him. 

They had been friends since elementary school, bonding over their shared backgrounds in foster care. 

They had been there for each other when the world turned its back. 

Sasuke couldn’t leave. Not now. Not ever. 

He hadn’t even told him how he really felt about him yet. 

That he loved him. 

That his feelings for him went beyond just childhood friendship. 

Naruto knew he had to do it eventually, he just hadn't gotten to it yet. He wanted to spoil Sasuke, make him feel special, like he was the most amazing boy in the world. The blond had spent many a night staying up fantasizing about him and everything the two of them could be, everything he wanted them to be. 

God.

He just couldn't die. 

The blond pulled onto Sasuke’s street, tires screeching, he stopped the car a bit too soon, but it didn't matter; he was too concerned to care about where he parked. 

He ran to the front door, cursing “Fuck, Sasuke.” when he found it was locked. He shuffled through his pockets to find his keys. Sasuke’s key was marked with blue duct tape. His whole body pressed the door open once unlocked. 

“Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke, where are you,” he rambled. Bedroom or Bathroom. Naruto noted. He was probably most likely in either place. 

Frantic steps. Hall bathroom. Nothing. Bedroom. Nothing. Master bathroom. Oh god. 

The sight inside of the master bath was terrifying. Blood was everywhere. Bath water stained red, blood drops on the floor between the bath and toilet, blood trailing down the side of the toilet, and the man sitting on the toilet lid, curled up with his head between his knees. Dried blood covered his arms and thighs. 

“Oh, god. Sasuke, oh my god, ohh my god holy shit.”

Sasuke looked up with tired eyes to see horrified ones staring back at him. 

“Okay, okay, do you have bandages? No- wait take this,” Naruto said throwing a towel at him, “Anywhere that’s still bleeding, press that down on it hard, as hard as you can. I’m going to go find some bandages.”

Naruto went scrambling through the house, opening every cupboard, door, and drawer he could looking for gauze, bandaids, and antibacterial ointment. After finding some in the hall bathroom, he rushed back to the love of his life. 

Sasuke was sitting normally now, his feet on the ground and his back slouched. The towel was across his lap, a few small blood stains covering it. 

Naruto stepped into the bathroom and sighed deeply. 

“Where are you still bleeding?” 

“Hn.”

“Sasuke.” 

“A little bit on my thighs and left arm.” 

Nodding, the blond boy took a paper towel and wiped away the excess blood, and then wet another one and cleaned his arm. Antibiotic ointment came next. Naruto prayed and hoped that he had found enough gauze. 

“Why?”

“Why, what?”

“Why did you do it. I thought you had been doing better.” Concentration mapped its way across Naruto’s face with his eyebrows furrowed in concern. 

The dark haired boy opened his mouth and then closed it again, contemplating what to say. “I- I don’t know. Not entirely. I had a shit week and I already felt bad, I had an anxiety attack after I met with my counselor. I was so scared about the future when I came home a voice told me ‘There’s no future to be scared about if it ends today. Go on. Do it.’ and I was like, what the hell, why not. So I did it.”

“Sasuke…” Naruto was staring at Sasuke’s forearm as he wrapped cloth around it. Sasuke was glad he was focused on bandaging his wrist so his rebuttal wouldn't be as bad. 

“Save the lecture.”

But he was already going. “Fuck, Sasuke, I- Are your meds working? We could change them if it’d help. You could go to a different counselor, I could move in if you need someone to look after you. You could get admitted to inpatient again, I don't know Sasuke, I can't lose you. You can't die.”

Sasuke rolled his eyes, “I mean it's not like it'd really matter, you have so many other friends…” he said it in a whisper, averting his eyes.

“What? What the fuck Sasuke! No, no, no, listen, okay? You're my best friend I've known you longer than anyone else, you've been the only constant thing in my life since I was 11. I- you-” 

Bandages fell to the floor, dropped by shaking hands on a journey to Sasuke’s face. One cupping his cheek and the other fisted into his hair. 

Bump. Badump. 

Lips collided. 

Naruto moved his lips against Sasuke’s so naturally as if he had done it so many times before. He lost himself in the moment and kept loving him. Fingers tracing the angles of his face, chapped lips devouring his. 

It wasn't a perfect kiss. 

Naruto’s excitement got in the way of that. 

But Sasuke didn't care. 

To him it was the perfect first kiss. 

“I…” Naruto looked down, embarrassed when the kiss ended. 

“Finish bandaging me up and then do that again.” 

A command.

Sasuke said it with the same usual tone in his voice but this time it made Naruto’s knees go weak and heart flutter with excitement. 

“Y- yeah. Yeah! Sure, of course.” 

The rest of Sasuke’s wounds were covered, perhaps a bit haphazardly, and then their lips found themselves in contact. 

A soft, gentle kiss. 

It was quick and cautious, like Naruto was asking for permission. He was scared if he pushed too far, held him in the wrong way, it would all be over and the Uchiha would deny it had ever happened and force him out. 

Sasuke stood up, and pressed Naruto against the bathroom wall, ignoring the pain in his legs and the falter in his step. He mashed his lips against the other man’s and kept kissing and kissing until his knees gave out. 

And he fell. 

In Naruto’s arms. 

“Hey, sorry, we must’ve gotten carried away,” Naruto was trying to cover his panic up with bashful embarrassment, “You should still go to a hospital, you’ve lost a lot of blood.”

“Hhn.” 

Naruto couldn’t tell if that was a gasp of exhaustion or a muffled no. 

“You need to, come on, get some clothes on. I’ll take you.”

“No.”

Naruto sighed, “I could call Sakura or Tsunade instead? They’d know what to do.”

Mulling it over he growled: “...Tsunade,”

“Okay, okay I’ll go get you some clean clothes and call her, you stay here.”

Naruto wrapped his arms around Sasuke in a loose hug and kissed his forehead. 

The dark haired boy missed his touch as soon as it left his skin. Everything felt blurred. 

He didn't want to go to the hospital. That would just mean more lost time. 

More talking to doctors, therapists, people that think they know what's wrong with him and how to fix it. They were all wrong.

Sasuke just wanted to graduate college and get on with his life. He couldn't put it off. 

Naruto came back a moment later with some clothes in his hands. Fresh underwear, a dark blue shirt, and black joggers. “Here,” he said placing them on the counter. 

“Tsunade will be here in fifteen minutes.”

“Mm.” Sasuke grunted. 

The blond exited the room to give Sasuke some privacy as he changed. He sat down on his queen sized bed and waited. He felt like a middle schooler again. Giddy with excitement and adoration for his best friend. God, he still couldn’t believe that had just happened. 

That Sasuke could’ve died. 

And that he kissed him and he kissed back. 

What had been holding him back? Why hadn’t he done that sooner?

The sound of the doorknob twisting interrupted his thoughts. God, Sasuke looked so beautiful. 

His hair was piled in an unkempt oily mess on his head, and the dazed smile he was wearing made him look lost. Naruto smiled awkwardly as Sasuke looked at him. 

“What?” the irritated tone in his voice was weak, the blond could tell how fake his grumpiness was at the moment. 

He patted the spot on the bed next to him and Sasuke obeyed. 

The dark-haired boy slumped down beside him and clung to Naruto’s chest. 

“You know, you can call me if you ever get this bad again,” Naruto whispered to the top of Sasuke’s head. He had wrapped his arms around his moon and began rocking him back and forth. 

“I didn’t- I didn’t want to bother you. I knew you’d drop everything to come get me.” 

Naruto took in a sigh so deep Sasuke felt the cavern of his stomach as it was sucked in. “You’re not a bother to me at all, I promise. I-” he stammered. “I love you so much, Sasuke.” 

“I’m sorry.” Naruto heard his moon whisper and he took him in tighter into his arms. 

Sasuke slinked his head up closer to Naruto’s, placing his hands on his shoulders. His eyes drifted to his sun’s lips and he was about to move forward and kiss him when they heard a knock on the door. 

Naruto shook the redness off his face, “I’ll go get her,” 

The dark-haired boy nodded and sat up on his bed. His watchful eyes followed Naruto on his way out. 

When the retired doctor entered his bedroom Sasuke felt every hair on his body stick up. He knew she cared but he also knew she didn’t always come off in the most empathetic of ways. 

“You.” She told him coldly, “Are going to get into my car right now and come with us to the hospital. Naruto told me he bandaged you up but you’ve lost too much blood to just sit around.”  
Through the doorway, Sasuke saw Naruto flash him an apologetic smile, but it was alright. He knew she would do this. It’s why he chose her over Sakura. Both of them would’ve forced him to go the hospital but at least with Tsunade, she’d just get right to business and wouldn’t fret over him for an hour first. 

The car ride was awkward. 

Naruto tried to make conversation, but all attempts were shut down by the two people next to him. 

Tsunade had a different approach as they pulled into the hospital parking lot, demanded: “What the hell were you thinking, Sasuke?” as she slammed down on the brakes. 

Sasuke shrugged and kept his eyes looking outside of the window. 

“We’re not getting out of this car until you talk.” 

“Fine by me.” Sasuke mumbled. 

Naruto intervened, “Hey, Tsunade, he’s probably just tired and has a lot on his mind. I can tell you what he told me later.” 

The older woman huffed as she unlocked the car. Which was of miniscule relief to Sasuke, but then that also meant he’d have to go inside the hospital. And before he could open his door, Naruto had already exited the car and made his way to Sasuke’s side: “Here, Sasuke, let me help you.” Naruto reached out a hand and the raven haired man took it reluctantly. 

“I don’t need your help.” Sasuke grumbled. 

A kiss pressed to Sasuke’s forehead as he stood resulted in a grunt from his mouth, but Naruto didn’t care. He was focused on getting Sasuke the help he deserved (and to be fair he was still kind of giddy after learning Sasuke returned his feelings). 

With Naruto on one side and Tsunade on the other, Sasuke was chaperoned into the hospital. 

ONE MONTH LATER 

“Why do you have so much fucking shit?” Sasuke inquired grumpily as he was carrying in yet another box of Naruto’s from the moving truck parked in his yard, “I bet you don’t even use most of this stuff.” 

“Oh, shut up, you’re the one who thought I should move into your place instead of mine. You’ll have to get used to all of my crud.” Naruto jabbed back as he was sitting on the kitchen floor unloading a box of dishes. 

After going to the hospital, Sasuke had been admitted to a psychiatric ward. It had been hard at first but he knew it had been the right decision. And as a condition of his release, he had to live with Naruto so someone could keep a better eye on him. But as of right now, Sasuke was regretting that decision. 

“That was before I knew how much stuff you had!” Sasuke yelled from outside as he went to retrieve another box. Though it’d take a lot for him to admit it, he really was glad Naruto was moving in with him. Aside from all that recovering from a suicide attempt shit, these past few weeks with Naruto had been some of the happiest of his life. He loved Naruto, he loved kissing him on the nose and tucking in with him at night. Even though they had only been together for a month, since they had known each other for so much longer before, they were like an old married couple. And they wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Naruto came up behind Sasuke as he lifted a box over the door’s front step, kissing him on the neck. 

“N- Naruto! I could have dropped this, what, third box of your comics!” Sasuke couldn’t deny the faint blush to his cheeks though. 

A laugh left Naruto’s lips as he snaked his arms around Sasuke’s middle and began kissing his neck again and again. They had found happiness, and they had found it in each other. 

And as Sasuke dropped the box he had been carrying onto the floor of the living room, he turned around to kiss the blond boy next to him, and didn’t hear the second hand ticking 2 PM.

**Author's Note:**

> this fic has taken me literal years to finish i started it in like 2015 
> 
> thanks to my friend venus for proofreading it! i hope yall like it its one of my favs ive written 
> 
> title is from coma cinema's survivors guilt


End file.
